Monuments turn me on. Yes they do. For that matter any form of architecture does. My yesterday’s evening visit to the Red Fort tickled my satirical bones only to unleash the devil within. To put it in a better and decent way it has given a new understanding of the monument.
There is this place in Red Fort which claims to be the “Khawab Mahal”, (the Dream palace) where Emperor Shah Jahan dreamt. Dreamt??? Hello! Dreamt! You actually mean that? You mean these Mughals even had a different Mahal, an entirely different Mahal to bloody dream? Watcha extravagant deal man! Go ask for a 1 BHK apartment in CR Park, GK and you end up being almost nanga! Forget about a different house to dream, I bet it’s impossible to find a house of dreams in the city. Think of the Sheesh Mahal. Heights of self obsession. Now who wants to stare at themselves while taking a bath! Eeeeks!
More I learn about this particular dynasty, the more I get amused. Think of the cuisine. The mughlai cuisine is one that the world craves for. Come to think of the amount of spices that are used, your amazement and respect for their appetite and digestive system grows and just grows. Imagine if your weekly menu was Monday: Murg Lababdar
Tuesday: Murg Makhani
Wednesday: Rogan Josh
Thursday: Gosht Rezala
Friday: Raan
Saturday: Gilauti and Kakori kababs
Sunday: Gosht Dum Handi Biriyani and Phirni
Bhwaaaahhhhhh!!!! I want to throw up. I’m a hardcore Non-Vegetarian, If I put myself on half of this diet for a week I’l find myself shitting much before I reach the loo. I will have lose motion man, I will simply be bedridden. How can somebody even have this cuisine everyday? Or does that imply the metabolism of people, with time has gone for a toss!
Think of the total area of the Red Fort. Make me take a walk inside and find me resting for the next three days. What leaves you breathless is the glory and grandeur of the architecture, which can never be replicated. I feel so happy, so very assured and so very proud of it. More than half the fort is inaccessible which stops the general public from entering the protected areas. People complain of not being able to see most of the structure. But there is no other way out. Red Fort has all kind of people. I saw a group of young guys almost trying to jump insiode the ‘hammam’ (luxurious bathroom) and talking amongst themselves “yahan ranilog nahati thi be” (the queens used to bathe here). The other one says “hatna be humko bhi dekhne de na….aree kaanch ka khirki se to sabb dikhta hoga re” (you better move and let me see…wow everything must have been visible thorugh these transperant glass windows). Trust me their level of excitement to see the bathing area was so high, I am sure they tried their best to imagine a few girls actually bathing inside!
Guess this will force you make another visit to the Red Fort. Make it Real soon!